The Last Seduction Page 8

  “You ever gonna drink that?” the beefy bartender asked.

  She looked up at his shiny bald head and black goatee. He had scratches on his forehead and face, and she didn’t dare ask what they were from. She hoped they weren’t from a woman.

  “Nah,” she finally said. She pushed it away and rested her head on her arms. Drinking was what caused part of the problem with Sasha. She didn’t want to play with that fire anymore. Sure, she could wallow in it, get trashed and try to forget her, but she knew it wouldn’t work. She’d just be trashed and hurt, and that was no fun. Facing reality was what she had to do, and boy, what a bitch it was.

  Her girl had run off with somebody new. A poster model for dykes that Charlie was. How could she ever compete? What’s more, she couldn’t compete at all. She had to let Sasha go.

  So what now? What the hell was she supposed to do?

  “Listen, if you ain’t gonna drink or buy anything, you need to beat it. I got paying customers wanting your seat.”

  She raised her head. “Yeah?” She slammed cash down on the counter for the beer. “That’s for your shitty beer. And this…” she slammed down a dollar bill, “is for the pleasure of your company.” She looked away and stood as he glared at her. He said something to her back, but she didn’t care to listen. She just headed for the door.

  What was wrong with a world that didn’t let somebody sit and stew without getting hammered? She pushed out into the warm night and climbed into her truck. Tears nipped at her, but she refused to let them surface. What she needed was a plan. A way out of this pit. A pinpoint of light at the end of this damn tunnel.

  Mickey had told her she needed to date. To meet someone new. Maybe that was what she had to do. She didn’t want to, but maybe it would help to get her going half speed again. She plucked her phone from her pocket and texted Mickey. Then she put her truck in drive and sped over to the nearby gay bar. She walked inside the small hole-in-the-wall without waiting for Mick, and she was bombarded with dance music. Lights and strobes flashed, and men and women were yelling over the music trying to hear each other.

  Hannah crossed to the bar and eased on a stool. She ordered a Coke and felt relief when the bartender was friendly. He slid her her drink and touched her hand.

  “Don’t get too wild on me now.”

  She cracked a smile, and she could almost feel the crumbling of her stone-set face.

  “That’s a girl,” he said. “You keep doing that and they’ll be on you like kids on candy.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not sure I’m ready for all that.”

  “Too late.” He winked and moved away as a woman moved in next to her.

  “Hi. Care to dance?” She was short in stature and looked almost cherub like with pursed pretty lips and pink tinted cheeks. Her golden hair fell around her face like it was gently caressing her.

  “I, uh, don’t dance.” Nothing terrified her more than getting out on a dance floor and moving her body in strange ways for all to see. She’d even had nightmares about it when she was younger.

  “Why is that?” She smirked. “Is it me or the dancing you’re not fond of?”

  Hannah struggled for words. “The dancing. Yes, the dancing.”

  The woman full-on smiled. She shook her hand. “Good. I can work with that. I’m Pauline.”

  “Hannah.”

  “Hannah, huh? Never would’ve pegged you for a Hannah.”

  “No?”

  “No. You’re too sporty.” She rested her hand on Hannah’s thigh. Hannah covered it with her own.

  “I think we’re going just a little too fast here.”

  “We are?”

  “For me, yes. I just walked in the door and I’m waiting for a friend.”

  “What can I say? I go after what I want.” She leaned into her and inhaled her scent. “You smell really good.” She placed her lips gently on her skin, and Hannah jerked and stood.

  “Okay. That’s a little too much there.” Her heart was careening, but it was out of panic rather than desire.

  “I think you liked it.”

  “No, I, uh, it’s too much. Too much too fast.”

  Pauline was staring up at her like a lover lost in the throes of passion. Like she should be on the cover of a romance book.

  “I have to go,” Hannah said.

  “Wait, don’t you want my number?”

  Hannah hurried across the dance floor toward the door. But as she approached the exit, she remembered Mickey. Thinking quickly, she sidestepped and found an empty table. It was strewn with drink glasses and napkins, but she didn’t care. It was out of the eye of Pauline and many other patrons, and she felt more secure. What had she been thinking in coming to a gay bar? Had she honestly thought she’d have more peace here?

  And what was with Pauline? The woman was practically riding her leg. Was that how it was now? Women came on strong and expected one to just jump right in with them? If so, she had a lot to learn. A lot she didn’t want to learn.

  “What am I doing here?”

  She palmed her forehead and wished for a beer. She pushed away the temptation and focused on the part of the dance floor she could see. Two blondes were dancing, one with long hair like Sasha. It panged her heart, and she wondered what Sasha was doing at that very moment. She wondered if she might walk in the door. What would she do? Speak to her? Leave?

  She didn’t know, and she pushed that thought too from her mind. Her leg jumped with nerves. She focused on the messy table and flagged down a cocktail waitress. The woman was friendly and offered to get her a drink while she cleaned the table. Hannah shook her head, too afraid to speak. She didn’t trust her voice.

  When the table was clean, she rested her elbow on it and rested her chin in her hand. Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jerked and prayed it was Mickey.

  “Hey, handsome, buy me a drink?” Mickey rounded the table and sat with a shit-eating grin.

  “Screw you,” Hannah said, breathing easy. “You have no idea what I’ve already been through.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do tell.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  Mickey shifted in her seat and turned to check out the crowd. She turned back around and whistled.

  “Quite a crowd here tonight. Anyone strike your fancy?” She ran her hands through her short spiked hair and flashed her eyes at her. She was wearing a tight fitting gray tee with jeans.

  If butch was Hannah’s thing, she’d say she was attractive.

  “Uh, no.”

  “Come on, have you even looked?”

  “Not really.” This time Hannah shifted. “I don’t think I’m ready. Someone already approached me, and she came on really strong. I mean really strong.”

  Mickey leaned forward. “No kidding? Where? Is she hot?”

  “That’s not the point. It scared the shit out of me.”

  Mickey sat back. “I was afraid this might happen. I was afraid you might be gun-shy.”

  “I’m not gun-shy. I’m just…old-fashioned.”

  “Old-fashioned.”

  “Yes.”

  Mickey laughed. “I don’t know where the hell we’ll find you a girl who’s old-fashioned.”

  Hannah blushed. “I’m not talking Little House on the Prairie here, Mick. I’m talking respect, personal space, easy smiles, and witty banter.”

  “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

  Hannah looked away, defeated. She knew what she wanted, but she didn’t dare voice it. She wanted what she’d had with Sasha when things were good.

  “Okay, okay.” Mickey held up her hands. “Say I found you a nice woman. Someone who was more your speed. Would you, what? Take her out?”

  “Yes. A date would be nice.”

  “A date.”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” Mick nodded. “I might can manage that.”

  Hannah had somehow given her the green light to find her a woman. How had that happene
d? “Wait, I’m not saying that I’m ready for that.”

  “Come on, Hannah. One date. You can do it. It would be so good for you.”

  The cocktail waitress returned and Mick ordered a beer. As she walked away, Mick leaned in once again. “I’m going to take my beer and patrol the crowd for a bit. Promise you’ll stick around?”

  “No, I’m gonna go. It’s late and I’m tired.”

  “You’re just gonna take off? I just got here.”

  “You’re going prowling and I have no interest.”

  “I’m going prowling for you.”

  “Even so. I can’t sit here on the edge of my seat while you do that. I just don’t think I’m ready. I think I’d throw up with nerves the second I saw her.”

  “Oh, my God.” Mickey dropped her head into her hands. “Okay, fine, go. But promise me we’ll talk tomorrow. You’ve been isolating and it isn’t good for you.”

  Hannah stood. “I don’t know. I’ll try, okay?” When Mick nodded, Hannah walked away and exited the bar. She headed for her car, relishing the silence and the darkness of the night. She looked up at the stars and once again thought of Sasha.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sasha rolled over in bed and willed the voice to go away.

  “Saaasha, I brought coffee.”

  “Go away.” It was Bonnie and she was annoying the shit out of her. “I’m sleeping.”

  “It’s nine o’clock. Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.”

  “Fuck off.”

  Bonnie tsked, and Sasha could smell the coffee. Still, her body didn’t want to budge.

  “Tell me about last night,” Bonnie pleaded. “How was it?”

  Sasha was sprawled out on her stomach with half her face sunk into the foam mattress.

  “It was a nightmare,” she said. She pushed herself up and wiped away some drool.

  She pulled the covers to her chest and eyed Bonnie who looked as fresh as the day was bright.

  “A nightmare?” Bonnie handed over the mug of steaming coffee and sat.

  “Yes,” Sasha said between sips. “A nightmare.”

  “What happened?”

  “She was a Neanderthal. End of story.”

  Bonnie looked perplexed. But Sasha didn’t want to talk about it.

  “You were right, okay? Feel better?”

  “No.”

  Sasha scoffed. She placed the mug on the night table and rose with the covers wrapped around her.

  “Where are you going?”

  “For a shower.” Sasha crossed the hall, entered the bathroom, and started the shower. The water warmed quickly, and she dropped the bedclothes and stepped inside. The water felt miraculous, and she relaxed her muscles under the spray.

  “You have to tell me what happened.”

  Sasha jerked and yanked back the shower curtain. “Holy shit, Bonnie. What the hell?”

  But Bonnie merely sat on the toilet seat and sipped her coffee.

  Sasha pulled the shower curtain closed and soaped her hair. “She was rude. Rude to the entire restaurant.” Just thinking about it made her want to cringe. “I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life.”

  “Oh, no.”

  “Oh, yes. She was rude, curt, and demanding. And worst of all, she thought it was turning me on somehow. Like she was putting on a show.”

  “Yikes.”

  “Yeah.” Sasha rinsed her hair. “It was awful. And after we finally left there, I asked to come home and she wouldn’t bring me. She took me to listen to this god-awful band. All I got was a terrible headache while she danced the night away with her biker friends.”

  “I thought you said she was nice?”

  “She was! And I kept waiting for that person to appear, but it didn’t happen. Not until the very end when she finally dropped me off. Then she was sensitive and caring and gentle. She suddenly cared about my wants and desires, and she seemed truly heartbroken that I didn’t have a good time.”

  “Oh no,” Bonnie said. “You didn’t say you’d go out with her again did you?”

  Sasha rinsed her body and then the conditioner from her hair. She didn’t want to answer, but she knew Bonnie would keep pressing.

  “I said maybe.”

  She heard Bonnie make a noise.

  She killed the water and reached for a towel, which Bonnie placed in her hand.

  “I don’t want to hear it, Bonnie. I only said maybe.”

  “You have the hardest time telling people no.”

  “I told Hannah no.”

  “That took years.”

  Sasha dried herself and her frustration grew. “Can I have some peace please? I had a hell of a night and I still have a bit of a headache.”

  She heard Bonnie stand. “I’m sorry you had such a terrible time, Sash. When you’re ready, I made breakfast.” She closed the door softly, and Sasha stepped from the tub and stared at herself in the mirror.

  She couldn’t explain why she’d told Charlie she might see her again. The date had obviously gone way wrong, and she no longer had an interest in her. But there was something about the way they ended the night. She’d seen a glimpse of the Charlie she’d been attracted to. And if she was really honest with herself, she’d admit the real truth. That she didn’t want her first date after Hannah to be a failure. If she did that then who knew what the future held. Here she was so determined to move on, so headstrong, turning Hannah away, and her first date was a bomb.

  What would Hannah think when she heard? Surely someone would tell her. Would she gloat? Would she move in again thinking she had another shot?

  Would that be so bad?

  She groaned at herself for even allowing the thought to enter her mind. Hannah had manners, yes, and she would never act like Charlie did last night, but that didn’t mean anything. She would just have to give Charlie another chance was all. It could work. Charlie could show up all sexy and kind. They could have a good time. Maybe she just needed to talk to her.

  She crossed to the bedroom and dressed in navy cotton shorts and a white tee. Then she lotioned up and headed downstairs. Bonnie had already made her a plate, and she gave her a big smile as she sat at the table.

  “You’ve really been a good friend to me, Bons,” Sasha said. “Thank you.”

  Bonnie sat across from her with another full mug of coffee. “Quit thanking me already. I’m getting a complex.”

  “I mean it. All you do for me. You’re the best.” Sasha took a bite of the turkey bacon and then spooned some homemade preserves on a piece of toast.

  “How do you feel about returning to work on Monday?” Bonnie asked.

  Sasha chewed and mulled it over. “I’m nervous. It’s been weeks.”

  “I think I’d be a little anxious as well. But they said someone has been covering for you, and they are thrilled you’re coming back, right?”

  “Yes. But still, what if I have trouble getting back in the groove?” She’d had a nightmare about that a couple of days before. Now it was on the forefront of her mind. She’d always been great at her job, and the people at her station were wonderful. Being gone so long though…could she jump back in without feeling lost?

  “Try not to worry about it. You’re an old pro at your job.”

  Sasha continued to eat and think.

  “Has my mother called the home phone?” She hadn’t heard from her in a few days, which was a bit unlike her since the hospital stay.

  “Yes. Four times.” Bonnie rose and retrieved a paper from the fridge. “If you ever ate, you would’ve noticed your messages.”

  Sasha scanned through the names and her heart sank for a split second. Bonnie must’ve seen the brief look on her face.

  “Hannah hasn’t called.”

  She said the words softly, as if they were a confession she didn’t want to voice.

  Sasha shrugged. “Okay.”

  “Has she called your cell?”

  Sasha shook her head.

  “Does that bother you?”

  “No, it’s
what I wanted.” But still, she was more than surprised. “I guess it proves I made the right move.”

  Bonnie looked down at her coffee.

  “Your silence speaks volumes,” Sasha said.

  “I’m just thinking.”

  “And?”

  “Nothing. I think you did the right thing. Now you should move on from this Charlie.”

  “Actually, I’ve given it some thought. I think I’m going to go out with her again. Give her another shot.”

  Bonnie stood at the sink, and Sasha saw her shoulders fall.

  “Sash.”

  “Please don’t argue with me. I need to give it another shot. For me.”

  Bonnie turned. “You know things aren’t automatically going to be perfect now. You know that, right? You aren’t going to just ride off into the sunset with someone else.”

  Sasha pushed away her plate. She wanted to protest and tell Bonnie she was being ridiculous in thinking that Sasha expected such things, but no words would come. Because that was exactly what she was wanting. She blinked and stumbled out a sentence.

  “How—you’re—I don’t think that.”

  “Maybe not, but you do want it.”

  “So? I can dream can’t I?”

  “Yes, of course. Just don’t let your dreams cloud your reality. We can’t all live in a romcom or a romance book, Sash.”

  “Me? What about you? You don’t seem to have any dreams. You haven’t dated in God knows how long, and you find an excuse about every man you meet.”

  Bonnie looked stricken, but she remained calm. “This isn’t about me, Sash. But if you need to deflect, I get it.”

  Sasha shoved her chair back and stood. She pointed at her, but in the end said nothing. She just hurried out the door to her Jeep and climbed inside. She didn’t bother to wait for her vehicle to cool before she sped off down the street.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hannah didn’t sleep. Couldn’t sleep. Her brain had been on overload, flashing images of Sasha and Charlie all night long. She groaned and finally crawled from her useless bed into the bathroom where she splashed warm water on her face. She groaned again when she caught sight of her reflection. She looked like over-tanned hell if there was such a thing. She had the dark circles under her eyes, deadness in her irises, and the deep abyss to nowhere in her pupils.