The Last Seduction Read online

  “You all right? You need a ride?” He was looking at her with concern under the sweat soaked brim of his Diamondbacks hat. “You look like you’re gonna fall over.”

  She started to tell him no, to tell him she was fine, but she just suddenly deflated as if all the air had just vanished from her sails.

  “Yes,” she breathed. “A ride would be great.”

  He rounded the car quickly and cupped her elbow. “You want to go to a hospital or a doctor?”

  “No, I just need to get home.” He eased her in the back seat of his warm sedan. It smelled of hot vinyl and dirty carpet. But she didn’t care. She just rested her head against the seat and spewed out her address when he slid into the front seat. He repeated it and asked about her cross streets.

  Then the awful realization hit her again just as it did each and every day.

  She no longer lived at her home. She no longer lived with Hannah, her partner of fifteen years.

  She lived five long miles away with her best friend, Bonnie, in a small room with a clothes rack and an ironing board.

  Sasha gave him the correct address and then allowed her heavy eyes to fall closed as a tear slipped down her cheek.

  Chapter Two

  The Bud Light was icy cold, and Hannah Carter grinned at the golden liquid that had sprayed her wrist as she cracked open the can and took a long, hearty sip. After she swallowed her fill, she leaned back against the windshield of her old seventy-six Chevy truck and crossed her ankles to stare at the soon to be setting sun and the vast desert before her. Next to her, on the side of the road, several kids screamed with delight as a fighter jet flew straight for them and then pulled up at the last second, soaring up into the rainbow sherbet sky. Hannah laughed at the enjoyment of the children and the rush the plane had brought on. She rubbed the gooseflesh on her arms and toasted the plane by holding her beer can up in the air.

  “F-16?” her son, Casey, asked as he tossed her his unopened Coke and climbed onto the truck to sit next to her.

  “Think so.”

  “Badass.”

  “Yep.”

  As he settled in, his short sandy hair blew in the breeze and his angled jaw flexed as his long fingers worked the Coke can, eventually snapping it open and shaking the excess soda from his hand.

  “Blue Angels fly yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Good.”

  He slurped his drink and relaxed just as two more fighters did maneuvers overhead.

  Hannah watched in amazement.

  “I never get over this. It gets to me every damn year.” She’d been bringing Casey to the rehearsal for the annual air show for over ten years now. From back when he was just a little guy, all grin and ears. She glanced over at him and shaded her brow. He’d grown into his ears, but his grin was still as broad as ever and shit-eating to boot.

  “What?” He’d caught her looking.

  “You’re a handsome devil.”

  He shook his head. “Whatever.”

  “You are. Eighteen and as handsome as all get-out.”

  Red plumed his cheeks, and she let it go, loving his modesty as well. Someday, he’d make someone very, very happy. And she couldn’t wait to see it happen.

  She stared off toward the towering purple mountains where the sun hung just above, wavering, trying to decide if it wanted to turn in for the night. Yes, the moment was perfect save for one thing. She cringed as the feeling of loss seeped in. That deep pain resonated in her gut, the one that always came when she thought about Sasha. She’d try to swallow against it, or cough or even try to outrun it. But it always remained until it had had its fill of slowly digesting her insides, leaving her feeling even emptier than before.

  “I’m being eaten alive,” she whispered before she downed the rest of her beer. A tear snuck down her face and she let it. She was growing tired of wiping them away. Let them run, let them drip, let them meander. She couldn’t stop them, and what was the use? She was heartbroken.

  Casey cleared his throat, and she somehow knew he’d seen the tear.

  “Sasha?” he asked.

  She didn’t answer verbally, didn’t need to. He nodded.

  “Yeah, this is great and all, but there’s definitely one thing missing.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” She followed another set of fighters for as far as she could see. One shot straight up while the others remained in formation. She prayed that focusing on the planes would quell the mad feast going on in her insides. But the pain kept on devouring. She touched her abdomen and willed it to stop.

  “You never want to talk about it.”

  “Well, maybe there’s a reason.” She’d lost weight since Sasha had left. Twenty pounds. She swore it had all been muscle too, for she felt different, weaker. Like a goddamned sack of walking bones.

  Casey sat up and fumbled in his bag. He pulled out sunscreen and tossed it to her. “We all have to talk about things that cause pain, Mom. It’s how we get over them.”

  “There’s no getting over Sasha.”

  He looked at her and patted her forearm, encouraging the application of the sunscreen. “Then go after her. Call her. Do something.”

  “I can’t. She made it clear she needed space. She made it clear she doesn’t want me around. Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s better this way.”

  Casey scoffed. “My God, Mom, sometimes you are so much like a caveman. It’s a miracle you won her heart at all.”

  “Hey, easy.” She rubbed on the warm lotion and then applied some to her face. She was getting dark, and Casey was always commenting about how he preferred not to have a leather satchel for a mother.

  “I’m serious. I feel for Sash. I really do. You’re impossible sometimes.”

  “I’m doing what she wants.”

  “You’re doing what you want. Which is not risking another rejection.”

  Casey offered her another beer, but she declined. She couldn’t handle anything else in her stomach. Instead she sat back, inhaled the tropical scent of the sunscreen, and tried to find some soaring planes to focus on. At the moment, she wasn’t having any luck.

  After a long silence, Casey spoke. “Did you call her today?”

  Great. There it was. The sword of all swords. He was bringing up Sasha’s birthday. Her fortieth. He didn’t know it, but he had just killed her, stabbed her right through the gut.

  “I texted her.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “Casey, honestly, let up a little.”

  “It’s her fortieth!”

  “Yes, I’m aware. But I—I wasn’t brave enough to call, okay? Besides, she was at work, and if the call pissed her off then she’d be at work all pissed off and it just wouldn’t have been good.”

  “Did she respond?”

  “She thanked me.”

  “Oh, how romantic. The two of you are a nightmare.”

  “Then leave us alone.”

  “I can’t!” He tossed the sunscreen into his bag and sighed. “You two love each other. Like deeply love each other. That is so rare. Don’t you know what you have? Why do you think all my friends wanted to hang out at our house growing up? Their parents were shitty; they fought all the time or they didn’t speak. But you and Sash, you guys were just so easy. You fit together. You worked. And you didn’t even have to try.”

  Hannah closed her eyes. She remembered those days. When things were easy and kisses were soft and embraces were long. She’d come home from work, and Sasha would be in the kitchen, sashaying to Led Zeppelin or Steppenwolf, wine glass in her hand. She’d make dinner while she and Casey did a few chores. Then they’d all settle in and eat and laugh and share. And there’d usually be a young boy or two joining them. Casey’s friends. They’d talk for hours, clean the kitchen together, and then change into pj’s and crash on the couch to watch television. Many a night she’d awaken only to find Casey and Sasha fast asleep. She’d carry first Casey, and then Sasha to bed. Her loves. Her little sleeping loves. Oh, how her he
art had been full then.

  The shrill of fighters forced open her eyes. She watched as one tore right by them seemingly tearing her heart from her chest as it did so.

  “Things are different now,” she said into the wind.

  Casey heard her, but he continued to watch the planes. “Yeah, I know. But why? And why aren’t you trying to fix it?”

  “Because she doesn’t want me to.”

  He shook his head. “Bullshit, Mom. I may be a man, but I know for a fact that is bullshit. You have to try.” He dug his phone from his back pocket. “You’ve got to go tonight. You have to.”

  “I wasn’t invited.”

  “So?”

  She rolled her eyes. “So, I’d feel like an ass.”

  “I was invited. You’ll come as my guest.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Casey.”

  “Well, thank God I never listen to you then.” He hopped down from the truck and brushed off the back of his jeans. He began packing up. “Well, come on then. We gotta go get ready.”

  “Casey—”

  “Don’t argue, just do. Isn’t that what you always told me? For once in your life you’re going to listen to me. And we’re going.” He stopped to glare at her. “Go on, get your ass off of that truck.”

  She thought about arguing, about absolutely refusing. But Casey was determined, and she knew he was right. She should go. Despite it all. But the truth was she was afraid. How much rejection could she take?

  She eased down off the truck and fished in her pocket for her keys.

  One thing was for certain.

  She was about to find out.

  Chapter Three

  “We’re late,” Hannah said as she slid out of her truck and smoothed down her jeans and button-down white shirt. She rolled up her sleeves as the warmth from the evening air settled on her like the baking heat of an oven.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Casey said as he closed the passenger door and joined her to walk to the front door of Bonnie’s house. “We’re here and we’re going in.”

  “Think Bonnie will let me in?”

  Casey laughed. “That’s why I insisted we bring this.” He held up the expensive bottle of champagne they’d stopped to purchase.

  “I always knew you were smart.” She took a deep breath and opened and closed her fists. According to Casey, the surprise party started at seven. They were now pushing seven thirty. Truth be told, she was a little relieved. At least now most people would be busy mingling rather than silently waiting and looking around. She hoped she’d be less noticed.

  “Nervous?”

  “Hell, yes.”

  Casey squeezed her hand. “It’ll be okay, Mom. This needs to happen.”

  They walked up the empty drive to the walkway leading to the front door. Music poured out, and the sounds of shrieks and laughter followed. A black fortieth birthday balloon stretched upward from a walkway light.

  “I hope she’s having fun,” Hannah said. They stepped inside and walked sideways to maneuver through people. The house was warm and stuffy and smelled of potpourri and scented candles. Sweat broke out on Hannah’s temple as she worked her way through, trying like hell to get to a better vantage point. At some point, she lost sight of Casey, and her heart sped up as she entered the kitchen. Caterers were busy moving hot trays of food, while others wove madly back into the crowd to serve more wine and beer. She managed to grab a cold bottle of beer before it was plucked and placed on a tray. She opened it and took several swallows before finding her way to the edge of the table in the nook.

  The two-story house was jammed full of people, from the looks of it both upstairs and down. She recognized more than a dozen and gave nods and polite waves when they stared at her with their chins dropping. She knew it was only a matter of time before Sasha heard of her presence. She honestly hoped she wouldn’t ruin her fun.

  As a new song came on, and the young deejay spoke into the microphone, Hannah leaned against the wall, ready to wait the crowd out. She planned on just seeing Sasha and wishing her a very happy birthday and then slipping out. She wasn’t there to cause a scene. She was there to show she cared. But as her eyes drifted to the second-story landing, her breath caught in her throat. Sasha was standing there in a tight skirt and form-fitting blouse, looking directly at her. Hannah pushed off the wall and called her name just as Sasha’s hand went to her chest as if to catch her heart from escaping. She said something. Said it again. Hannah could’ve sworn it was her name. She moved toward the staircase, desperate to reach her, but she was blocked. And when she caught sight of Bonnie glaring at her from the top landing, she backed up and returned to her spot near the kitchen.

  She sipped her beer and waited, debating whether she should leave. She eyed her watch and wondered what Sasha had said to her. Was she upset? Mad that she was there? Or was she calling to her? Should she try again to find out?

  No, Sasha knew she was there. If she wanted to speak to her she knew where to find her.

  She finished her beer. Eyed her watch. It had been fifteen minutes since Sasha had seen her. Plenty of time for her to come to her. Hannah pushed off from the wall. It was getting obvious that Sasha didn’t want her there. She should go.

  She began to weave through people once again when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She managed to fish it out, and when she saw it was Sasha she was more than confused. She looked up the stairs, but Sasha was nowhere to be seen.

  She answered, plugging her free ear with her finger, trying desperately to hear.

  “Hello? Sasha?”

  “Hannah! Hannah—”

  Hannah grew alarmed at her tone. “Sasha, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Hannah—I’m sick, so sick. Come quick.”

  “Sash?”

  “Need—help.”

  Hannah gripped the phone and shoved people aside as she headed for the stairs. When she reached them she yelled for people to move out of her way. She reached the top, but there was no Sasha.

  “Damn.”

  She put the phone to her ear. Nothing.

  But suddenly there was a voice behind her.

  “What are you doing here?”

  It was Bonnie. Hannah would know her scratchy nails on a chalkboard voice anywhere.

  Hannah faced her. “I came to wish Sasha a happy birthday. I came with Casey.”

  Bonnie, who was wearing a tight silver shimmering dress, looked like hell. Her makeup was running and her hair looked like it had been windblown. “Do you really think that was a good idea?”

  “Look, I didn’t come to cause trouble. Where is she? She called me and she sounded really bad.”

  Bonnie looked at the bedroom beyond her and then back at Hannah. She gripped her arm and tugged.

  “She called you?”

  “Yes, now where is she?”

  “She’s sick, Hannah, and I’m worried. I just came out here to find my friend who’s an EMT.”

  Hannah hurried after her to the master bedroom. Bonnie shoved open the door and then slammed it closed behind them.

  Sasha called out from the bathroom beyond.

  Hannah stiffened at the sound of her voice. She was crying.

  “Sasha?” She took a step forward, but Bonnie held her back.

  “She’s sick,” Bonnie said. “Really sick.”

  Hannah felt her world tilt. “Sash?”

  “Hannah, oh thank God. Wait, don’t come in here, Hannah. I don’t—I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Just let me clean up a little.”

  Bonnie collapsed onto the bed and ran her hands through her hair.

  “She came home like this. Got sick to her stomach right after the big surprise.” She looked over at Hannah. “God, what if it was too much? Did I do too much?”

  Hannah stared at the closed bathroom door. She couldn’t answer her, couldn’t comfort her. All she cared about was seeing Sasha and making sure she was okay. But something told her it wasn’t. Something told her this was more
than the flu.

  “Is it her kidneys?” Hannah asked.

  Bonnie rubbed her face. “I don’t know. She won’t tell me anything.”

  “Well, how does she look?”

  “Not good.”

  Hannah could wait no longer. She approached the door and knocked. “Sash?”

  To her surprise, the door opened and Sasha looked at her with large liquid eyes. She reached out, but her hand trembled.

  Hannah took it. “You’re swollen.” She examined the rest of her quickly. Sasha had changed into a bathrobe and tied her hair back, allowing Hannah to see her swollen feet and ankles and the pale color to her skin. She looked like she was going to fall over.

  Hannah steered her toward the bed. “We’ve got to get you in somewhere. Last time, remember last time, Sasha?” She’d been in the hospital for two weeks with doctors scrambling to find an answer as to why her kidneys were failing.

  “I’m not going,” Sasha said. “It’s not that bad.” A tremor ran through her as she spoke. And then she grabbed her ears and a look of alarm came over her. “I can’t hear you. It’s all muffled. Oh my God, I can’t hear.”

  Hannah reached for her again, but Sasha fell to the floor. Bonnie screamed and Hannah dropped to her knees and held her head.

  Sasha looked sleepy, completely out of it. Her eyes were rolling closed.

  “Call an ambulance,” she said directly to Bonnie. “Now, Bonnie, go.”

  Bonnie hurried from the room and returned with a cell phone stuck to her ear. Hannah focused on Sasha while her own heart careened in her ears.

  “Please, please. Make her okay, make her okay. Sasha. Sasha, baby, look at me.”

  And in that moment, Hannah knew without a shadow of a doubt that she’d do anything for her.

  She looked up to the ceiling and gave all of herself to whatever being was beyond, promised she’d do anything to have her, to hold her, to love her forever.

  But as she watched Sasha mumble incoherently as the paramedics rushed in, she wondered if all she gave, if all she had, would be enough.

  Chapter Four