The Last Seduction Read online

  Sasha heard the squeak of shoes on a hard floor. Then the gentle swish of clothing as someone moved next to her. When she felt warm hands on her own, she heated and sank farther into the softness she was lying upon. A voice hummed, soft, safe, soothing. Then words, careful, gentle, kind. Light seeped into the darkness, kissing her face, encouraging her to open her eyes. She blinked against the yellow-white and focused.

  “Hi, sugar,” the sweet voice said. “I’m over here.” There was a soft pat to her hand to get her attention.

  Sasha blinked some more and moved her gaze to her left. A smiling face looked down upon her. A face she did not recognize.

  “There you go.” The woman smiled again and held Sasha’s hand to her chest. The light from the window cascaded around her and lit her up like a heavenly figure. For an instant, Sasha thought she was from a world beyond.

  “You’re…an angel,” Sasha said.

  The woman laughed and Sasha could smell the subtle scent of lavender in the air. “No, child.”

  “You’re real?”

  “Mm-hm. My name is Cora. And I bet you’re wondering where you are.”

  Sasha licked dry lips and swallowed against a tight throat. She glanced around at the small room, and the small television screen hung on the wall ahead. Family Feud was on mute as if someone had been watching it without wanting to disturb her. She looked at the bed with all the buttons and studied the cords that ran from her body. As if on cue, a blood pressure cuff beeped and tightened on her upper arm. She winced as it squeezed until she could hardly stand it and then released.

  “Why am I here?” She had no memory of arriving at the hospital, or even why she needed to be there.

  Cora eased into a chair and kept hold of her hand. “You were awful sick. Don’t you remember?”

  “No.”

  “You’ve been here for a few days now. In and out of sleep. I’ve been checking on you every day.”

  “Do I—know you?” Nothing was making sense, and her head was so cloudy it almost hurt to think beyond what Cora was saying.

  “No, sweetie. I’m one of the chaplains here at the hospital.”

  “Chaplain?”

  “Yes.”

  Sasha felt her eyes flutter. She tried to sit up as panic overwhelmed her. “Am I going to die?”

  Cora patted her arm. “No, no, dear. You asked for me. When you first arrived. I’m just here for support. I’ve been praying for you each and every day. And so have others.”

  Sasha relaxed.

  She gestured to the far side of the room where the sunlight barely kissed. To where plants and flowers and balloons sat keeping silent watch.

  “I don’t understand. I don’t understand why I’m here.”

  Cora stroked her forehead. “I’ll try to find the nurse. She’ll be able to tell you more.” She released her hand and backed away. “You be sure to rest. You’ve been through a lot.” She left the room, leaving her calming scent behind for the faintest of seconds. Sasha almost called her back, not liking the feeling of being alone. What was happening? Why?

  The door opened, and Bonnie rushed in with a flushed face and tousled hair. She looked dead tired and as if she’d been crying long and hard.

  “Sasha, oh thank God.” She nearly fell into the bed for an awkward embrace. One that nearly suffocated Sasha.

  “Bonnie. Bonnie, you’re crushing me.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” She straightened and wiped tears from her eyes. “You don’t know how good it is to see you awake and okay. I’ve been worried sick.”

  She rounded the bed, found a plastic container of water, and poured them both a cup full. But she hesitated in giving Sasha a cup.

  “We better wait for the nurse. They are measuring your water intake and output.”

  “What?”

  Bonnie downed her water as if it were a shot of whiskey. Her bloodshot eyes were heavy but frantic in the way they searched Sasha’s face.

  “Your mother is here and Casey has been in and out quite a bit.”

  “Wha? Really?” Panic tried to surface once again. “Bonnie? Why am I here? What happened?” She didn’t feel bruised or sore, and nothing felt broken. There couldn’t have been an accident. And something had to explain why she felt sick to her stomach with a head swishing back and forth like a stormy sea. And pee, she was dying to pee. Or wait, there was a pinch there, a pressure.

  “Do I have a catheter?”

  Bonnie’s face fell. “It’s your kidneys, Sash. They went kaput.”

  “What?” Couldn’t be. They’d been fine for a while now. Her function was at thirty-eight percent and stable. Her blood pressure was good, her diet pretty clean.

  “Yeah. You got really sick. I mean, really sick. Don’t you remember your surprise party? Your fortieth birthday?”

  “My birthday?” What the hell was going on? Was it March already? She rubbed her temples and tried to think, but nothing more came.

  Bonnie sighed with obvious worry. “You can’t remember can you?”

  “No.” But as she said no, brief flashes shot through her mind. She saw faces. Balloons. Champagne glasses. Loud music. And…Hannah.

  “Hannah.”

  Bonnie shook her head. “She’s not here.”

  Sasha stared off in thought. “Was she at my party? I can see her face. She looked worried. Scared. She was…” Begging God to save her.

  “Oh God, it was bad wasn’t it? Look at you. You’re a mess. You all thought I was going to…die.”

  Bonnie squeezed her hand. “We were scared, Sash.”

  “I don’t understand how this happened. I just don’t understand.” She tried to move, but Bonnie held her back. “I want to go home.”

  “You can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  But the sickness and the sloshing of her head stopped her cold. “Oh God, I feel like hell.”

  “You need time to recover.”

  Sasha eased back and closed her eyes. Slowly, the sickness passed, but the webs of her mind were still tangled, so she released them and allowed them to fall away. Her body grew heavy and her breathing slowed. Tired. She was so tired. She heard Bonnie speak, but she sounded far away. So far away.

  And as she drifted off into a deep sleep, one image remained in her mind.

  Hannah.

  * * *

  When Sasha awoke again, her mother was sitting at her bedside, sipping coffee from a paper cup and watching the television on mute.

  “That smells really good,” Sasha croaked. The scent stirred her senses, and she suddenly wanted a cup, very black with no cream or sugar.

  Her mother turned to her and squeezed her leg. “You’re back.”

  “I guess so.”

  Her mother placed the cup on the bed table and inched closer. She brushed Sasha’s hair from her forehead. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  Sasha fidgeted with the bed buttons and raised herself a bit. “Am I, Mom? Okay?”

  Her mother pressed her lips together in a gesture that let Sasha know she was nervous.

  “Mom?”

  “Yes, you’re much better now.”

  “I do feel a little better. But I’d love to get this catheter out.” She pressed the button for the nurse. “How long has it been now?”

  “Six days or thereabouts.”

  Sasha winced. “When did you get here?”

  “Oh, Hannah called right away, as soon as they had you here. And based on your condition, I took the next flight that I could.”

  “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

  “Oh, now don’t say such a thing. You’re okay and that’s all that matters.” She searched Sasha with her blue eyes, and Sasha knew she was hoping for answers. She was always able to bore a hole right through her when she knew Sasha was keeping something from her.

  Sasha glanced away, unable to take the pressure. “I was going to tell you.”

  “When?”

  Sasha closed her eyes. “When the time was right. And no, I do
n’t know if the time would’ve ever been right.”

  “All this time and I didn’t even know where my daughter was living? I had to find out in an emergency?”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I just…I didn’t know what to say.”

  “Well, you don’t have to now. Bonnie told me the basics. What I could get out of her that is. Needless to say, it sounds like a big mess. A big, sad mess.”

  “It is,” Sasha said.

  “No wonder you’re so sick. All that stress…”

  “Can we please just drop it now?”

  “No.” Her mother stared into her. “I want to know my daughter. I want to know what’s going on. Do you not love Hannah anymore?”

  “No, I mean yes.” Sasha grabbed her forehead. “I mean of course I love her. I just don’t think she really loves me. Not like I need anyway.”

  Her mother sipped her coffee once again and crossed her legs. She was wearing gray slacks and a navy blouse. Both neatly pressed. Her manicure was fresh and her hair and makeup were impeccable. Even if things were rough and tough, you should always look your best. That was what she had always said. And Sasha had taken it to heart, trying to make sure she always looked her best. Though at the moment, it felt impossible.

  “I don’t know much about the whole lesbian thing.”

  “Mom.”

  “And you know I don’t necessarily approve.”

  “Oh God.” Sasha slapped her forehead.

  “But I know that Hannah cares for you a great deal.”

  Sasha wanted to climb from the bed and bolt from the room. Her mother always had a knack for making her uncomfortable. It never failed. First when she was twelve and she called the entire family across the country to tell them she’d started her period, all the way up into adulthood when she’d asked Sasha and Hannah what vibrators were at a dinner party.

  “That’s the problem, Mom. I feel like we’re just friends. Roommates. People who care for each other a great deal.” Just talking about the situation with Hannah exhausted her, and she wanted it to stop. “I don’t want to talk about Hannah, Mom. Not now.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because.” How could she explain? Her mother would never understand that the topic was emotionally draining because her mother could talk about anything to death. She’d talk to the walls if you let her. “Because I don’t think you’d understand.”

  Her mother scoffed. “I was married forty some years to a man who damn near killed me with his ridiculous philandering, his secrets, and his manipulation. And you think I won’t understand?” She shifted a little in her seat. “Marriage is a bitch, Sasha. No one knows it better than me.”

  Thinking about what all her mother had been through made her insides tighten. She wished she could take it all away, but she couldn’t. They both had to live with the aftereffects. And as for her father? He was off living guilt free with wife number two. Somewhere in Florida. Somewhere where your past was the past and accountability was unlawful.

  How could she be related to someone who lived completely guilt free despite how he treated people? It unnerved her, and every once in a while it crept up and made her wonder if she was being too hard on Hannah by walking away. But Bonnie and her other friends had assured her she wasn’t, and that had been the nudge she’d needed to make a move. She didn’t want to think beyond that.

  Her mother started to speak again, but a quick knock came from the door and a woman in a white lab coat and pantsuit breezed in. She slipped on a pair of eyeglasses and came to shake Sasha’s hand.

  “Ms. Bashton. I’m Dr. Patel.” She pointed to the other chair. “May I?”

  “Of course.”

  The doctor pulled the chair over and sat, then tucked her long, dark hair behind her ears as she looked over her laptop.

  “It’s been difficult to find you awake,” she said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

  “Somewhat better.”

  “Good.”

  “Can I go home?”

  “Do you feel well enough to go home?”

  Sash hesitated. She wasn’t a hundred percent, that was for sure.

  “Let’s take one thing at a time shall we?” Dr. Patel pressed more keys. “You had a very serious infection and your kidney function was greatly affected. I’m afraid the infection caused your disease to act up and some considerable damage was done to your kidneys.”

  “Wait…infection?”

  Dr. Patel met her gaze over the tip of her glasses. “Yes, you had a kidney infection. A very bad one. You were septic by the time you were brought in, and your kidney function was in jeopardy. You’re very lucky you came in when you did.”

  Sasha’s mind reeled. “But I hadn’t felt seriously ill for very long. How could this have happened?”

  “Sometimes UTIs can go unnoticed until they reach the kidneys.” She typed more and studied the laptop screen.

  “So what now?” Sasha asked.

  “We finally seem to have the infection under control with the correct antibiotic. But you need several more days of it. That means you can either go to a rehabilitation center where they can treat you and help you get back on your feet or you can go home with a PICC line.” She glanced up again. “An intravenous line would be placed in your inner upper arm and threaded inside you. Someone would then attach the container of antibiotic to that line and treat you. Usually insurance pays for a nurse to come to your home to administer the medicine and monitor your progress.”

  “Home, I’d rather be at home.”

  “She can’t stay here?” her mother asked.

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “What’s this rehabilitation center you speak of?” her mother asked.

  “Mom,” Sasha tried to interrupt.

  “It’s where patients go to continue their recovery. There’s a very nice facility down the road.”

  “No.”

  Her mother looked at her. “You might want to consider it, Sasha. Bonnie won’t be home to look after you. She has to work. She’s already missed several days being here. And there’s no room for me to stay there.”

  Sasha shook her head. “I’m going home.”

  “But where’s home, Sasha?” her mother said.

  Sasha glared at her and Dr. Patel caught the glance. “Just let the nurse know what you decide. You have until tomorrow morning.” She closed her laptop. “You should feel better in a few more days, but you’ll need to take it easy. You’ll be weak. And I need you to follow up with your nephrologist. Your kidney function is down and it needs to be monitored closely. If it falls much more, you will need to start thinking about dialysis and transplantation.”

  Sasha heard her mother gasp. She closed her eyes, trying not to feel overwhelmed herself.

  “Thank you, Doctor.”

  “You’re welcome.” She stood, shook her hand, and left the room.

  “You need to look into the rehab center,” her mother said, rising to pour them both some water. “You can’t stay at Bonnie’s on your own.” She gave Sasha a full cup and then recorded something on a chart.

  “Is that my water chart?”

  “Yes,” her mother answered without looking up. Sasha moved on, trying to push the thought of measuring her pee from her mind. But she would do it happily if it meant removing the catheter.

  “I’m not going to any rehab center when I’m perfectly fine going home.”

  “But where is home, honey? Where will you stay?”

  A voice came from near the door. One that both shocked and soothed Sasha all at once.

  “She can stay with me.”

  It was Hannah.

  Chapter Five

  “With you?” Gladys asked, looking as if she’d just been slapped. She was gripping the sides of the visitor chair next to Sasha’s hospital bed. “But I thought the two of you were…”

  “We are.” Hannah finished for her. “Separated.”

  Sasha was staring at her with a look that said “save me.” It was a look she ofte
n fashioned when she was around Gladys.

  “But I couldn’t help but overhear that Sasha needs a place to recover for a while. And our place…ahem, my place is perfect.”

  Gladys fidgeted. “I think she’d better stay at the rehab center, considering your current situation.”

  “I’ll do it. I’ll stay with Hannah,” Sasha said. “I’ll be more comfortable there.”

  “But, Sasha, you two haven’t been getting along.”

  “We don’t fight,” Sasha said. “Nothing like that. We just…exist.”

  “Can you take care of her, Hannah?”

  “I’ll have to work a few hours a day. But Casey is there, and he’s often home between classes. We’ll make sure she’s okay.”

  Gladys stood. “I don’t understand the two of you. I just don’t understand it.” She walked by Hannah and turned at the door. “I’m going for some more coffee so you two can figure this out.” She shook her head as if confused and defeated and slipped through the door.

  “Do you mind if I sit?” Hannah asked.

  “You know I don’t.”

  Hannah eased into a chair.

  “So you were eavesdropping at the door?” Sasha asked.

  Hannah blinked with surprise. “Yes, I guess I was.”

  Sasha scoffed. “I should be upset at that, but considering the circumstances I’m glad you did.”

  She struggled to reach for more water. Her hand shook as she grabbed the cup and brought it to dry looking lips. Hannah took it from her when she was finished. Her eyes thanked her, but her expression was one of ambivalence. She looked tired, weak, and gaunt. She’d lost weight, making her cheekbones more prominent, as if someone had sculpted them with a straight razor.

  “I know I look like hell,” she said, catching her gaze.

  “Actually, I was just thinking how beautiful you still are despite everything.”

  Sasha stared at her for a long moment. “Liar.”

  “You know I’m not.”

  Sasha picked at her blanket. “You know this doesn’t mean anything. My coming to stay with you while I recover.”

  “Sasha I think we should talk about it—”

  “Good, because we’re still separated and I’m still upset.” She set her jaw and narrowed her eyes. Hannah knew better than to argue at that moment.