The Last Seduction Read online

  But when she was nude, like now, she noticed the emptiness, the void, and the last thing she felt was sexy or desirable no matter how toned the rest of her was. She hated the angry scars that left her feeling like half a woman. And a lot of times, if she admitted it, half a person. That was because she knew she was vulnerable now. She could die. Something could happen. The realization had terrified her, and she’d pushed everyone away. Mainly, Sasha. Now she had to pay for that. With her heart.

  She stepped in the shower while refusing to cry. It was very rarely that she showed her emotions, and when she did, it often drained her and left her helpless and exhausted. So when she did cry, she preferred to do it alone.

  She swallowed back her tears and soaped herself twice and rinsed under the cool spray. When she stepped out and dried, she was covered in goose bumps and trembling in the cold air. But the change felt glorious, and it was always the perfect end to a hot as hell day. She dressed quickly and headed for the living room on the search for Casey. She’d seen his car in the driveway and she wanted to, at the very least, wish him good night. But to do so meant she’d have to pass Sasha’s room. She didn’t want to admit it, but she knew it was a big reason why she wanted to check in on Casey.

  She breezed down the hallway, heard Sasha talking on the phone, and hurried along to Casey’s door, determined to leave Sasha alone.

  She softly knocked, but Casey couldn’t hear her. His door was cracked and she could see he had on his headset.

  She pushed her way in and touched his shoulder as the television exploded with graphics. He jerked and tore down his head set.

  “Mom, Jesus.”

  He paused his game and stood to retrieve a Coke from his night table. He was shirtless and in board shorts, toned and sinewy just like she was.

  “Sorry, just wanted to say good night.”

  He drank heartily and saluted her.

  “That’s it?”

  He lowered the can and softly burped. “You were expecting what? A cartwheel?”

  “No, I was just hoping for a brief conversation is all.”

  He returned to his seat and dug into a small bag of Spicy Doritos.

  “How’s school?”

  He shrugged. “Okay.” He turned and looked at her. “You forgot sunscreen again didn’t you?”

  She rubbed her face. “Maybe. Your grades okay?”

  “As if you have to ask.”

  She stumbled for words. Of course he had good grades. He always did. And he barely had to try.

  “Okay, well good night then.”

  “Night, Mom.”

  She wanted to tell him not to stay up too late, but he was eighteen and had every right to do whatever he wanted. He excelled at school and any part time job he worked so she had no complaints. She stood at the door and watched his television flash with more graphics as he began to play again. She inched the door closed and stood in the hallway recalling how just yesterday he was five and having dreams about his favorite Pokémon.

  She cocked her head as she heard Sasha laugh. Slowly, she moved toward her room and stopped. Sasha was packing her things and talking to someone on speakerphone. Hannah’s heart clenched as she watched her pack, and then her heart fell as she heard Charlie’s voice come through the phone.

  “You’re sure you feel up to a date tomorrow?”

  Sasha laughed. “Yes, for the hundredth time, I’m ready. I’m dying to see you.”

  Charlie laughed and Hannah wanted to throw up. She moved away from the door, but Sasha heard her and ended the call. She pulled open her door.

  “Were you spying?” She stood glaring at her in a threadbare tee and sleep pants. Her hair was in a ponytail and her PICC line was gone. She looked as though she’d seen a little sun. She looked good, the healthiest Hannah had seen her in weeks.

  “No, just passing by.” Hannah dropped her eyes. She couldn’t bear to look at her; it hurt too much.

  Sasha sighed and leaned back against the dresser. “I’m all packed.”

  “Yes, I see.”

  “Bonnie is picking me up tomorrow.”

  “So soon?”

  “Yes, it’s more than time to go, Hannah.”

  “Will you be okay?”

  Sasha didn’t answer right away. “I should be. I’ll be seeing my doctor frequently, and I have people who will look after me…” She trailed off as if she’d said something she shouldn’t have.

  “Of course.”

  “I mean, you know, I have friends and stuff.”

  “Uh-huh, yes.” But Hannah could feel herself burn with anger and jealousy knowing she was referring to Charlie. But there was nothing she could do. Not a damn thing.

  “Okay, well, good night. And if I don’t see you tomorrow, good luck with, you know, everything.”

  “It doesn’t have to be like this, Hannah.”

  “Yes, yes, it does.”

  “No, it doesn’t.”

  “Sasha, I have to let you go.”

  Sasha fell silent. She seemed shocked and unable to respond. She blinked quickly and pushed away from the dresser.

  “That doesn’t mean we have to act like strangers.”

  “For me, yes, I think it does. I, uh, can’t handle it otherwise. And knowing you’re seeing someone else…I shouldn’t know about it. I can’t know about it.”

  “Hannah.”

  “No, I have to go, Sasha. Just—good luck and all. I love you.”

  And with that she turned and left the room, leaving the love of her life behind.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Oh my God, nothing fits. I look like a kid too small for her hand-me-downs,” Sasha said as she yanked off yet another sundress and tossed it on the bed.

  “You look fine,” Bonnie said from her position on the bed. She began folding the latest discarded garment. “For God’s sake, she was your nurse; she knows you’ve been sick. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

  “No, you don’t seem to understand. This is my first date, in what, sixteen damn years? I need to look good. Not just for her but for myself.”

  “Okay, okay. Why don’t you just try some jeans? Don’t you have a skinny pair you always celebrate when you can fit into them?”

  Sasha snapped her fingers and pointed at Bonnie. “Yes!” She dug wildly through her closet until she found them. She shook the folded denim and eyed the dark blue color and the cut of the pants. They were perfect.

  “It’s been two years since I could fit into these bad boys.” She stepped into them and pulled them up with ease. “Wow. I really have lost weight.” She buttoned them and turned to look at herself in the door mirror Bonnie had hung for her. “What do you think?”

  Bonnie nodded. “You look good. What’d I tell ya?”

  Sasha clapped her hands. “Okay, now a blouse.”

  “So where is this hotshot taking you?”

  Sasha cringed at the word hotshot, but she kept digging in her closet, looking for the proper blouse. “What’s with the tone? Charlie isn’t a hotshot.”

  “No tone. She just sounds like a bit of a hotshot is all.”

  “Well, she’s not.”

  Bonnie was quiet, and Sasha retrieved a lavender blouse and slid it on. She was buttoning it when she caught Bonnie’s faraway look. “What’s wrong? Is it too light? Should I go darker?”

  “The shirt is fine.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Bonnie looked at her and shrugged.

  “Bons, come on, tell me.”

  “It’s just—I think—”

  “Yes?”

  “I think you may be moving a little too fast.”

  Sasha felt her herself blink with surprise. “What?” She sat on the bed facing Bonnie.

  “I wish you would give yourself some time is all. You just got out of the hospital a few weeks ago, you’re just now feeling well, and you know, it hasn’t been that long since Hannah.”

  Sasha shook her head. “Bonnie.” She felt her face rush with heat and she stood. “I
think you’re wrong. I mean, I’m fine. And if anything I need to do this to get over—” but she stopped short of what she was about to say.

  “See? You need to get over her. Meaning you aren’t yet over her.”

  “That’s not what I meant.” She sighed with frustration and finger combed her hair in the mirror. Her makeup was done and her outfit on, now all she had to decide on was shoes. “I simply need to do this for myself. To move forward, to start my life anew. I know you can understand that.”

  Bonnie didn’t speak. She just stood and walked to the doorway. Downstairs they heard a loud rumbling and Bonnie crossed to the window. She pulled back the blinds.

  “Um, your not a hotshot nurse is here. On her motorcycle.”

  “Shit.” Sasha scrambled for her brown ankle boots and hurried downstairs. She could hear Bonnie trailing behind her. “Don’t wait up for me. I have no idea when I’ll be home.” She sat on the bottom step and slipped into her boots and zipped them up. When she stood she turned to look at Bonnie. “And don’t think I didn’t catch the sarcasm in your comment.”

  The doorbell rang and Sasha answered. Charlie was standing there in a tight black T-shirt, faded jeans that hugged her muscled legs, and big black boots. Her dark hair was thick and windblown, but easily stylish once again with the pass of her fingers. She was James Dean sexy and had a tilted smile that had no doubt brought dozens of women to their knees.

  “Hi,” Sasha finally managed.

  “Hi.”

  Sasha turned to close the door but found Bonnie standing there staring at them.

  “You two kids have fun,” she said. “And I’m not sorry about my sarcasm.” She closed the door, and Sasha clenched her jaw at Bonnie’s rudeness.

  “That was, uh, my friend Bonnie.”

  Charlie seemed unfazed. “Doesn’t sound like much of a friend. You ready to go?” She held out a black helmet.

  “Oh shit, the bike. I’m riding on it?”

  Charlie grinned. “For now.”

  Sasha took her hand and followed her to the driveway. Her stomach rumbled in anticipation as she took in the metallic jade tank and khaki seats of the Indian motorcycle.

  “It’s beautiful.” She loved the look of it. The dark green with the black engine and wheels. It looked beautiful yet fierce.

  “It’s a Scout. I just got it last month.”

  Charlie climbed on and put on a black helmet. Then she held Sasha’s hand as she climbed on behind her.

  “You ready?” Charlie asked.

  “God yes,” Sasha said into the grumbling and vibration of the bike. “I’ve never been so ready.”

  * * *

  Sasha released her hold on Charlie as they slowed to a stop in a busy parking lot. Charlie cut the engine and Sasha climbed off the bike and removed her helmet. She vehemently ran her hands through her hair, knowing the helmet had probably ruined the look she’d been going for. Despite Charlie already having seen her, she still felt the need for perfection, and her mother’s words replayed in her mind. Always look your best.

  Charlie laughed as she removed her helmet.

  “Do you always worry about how you look?”

  “Of course, don’t you?”

  Charlie swung off the bike. “Not overly so, no.”

  “Well, we can’t all be a natural James Dean,” Sasha said, checking her reflection in the side mirror of the motorcycle.

  Charlie tugged on her hand. “I’m not sure how to take that,” she said. “Come on, you look great.” She pulled Sasha along after her.

  “Where exactly are we going?” Sasha glanced around at the handful of restaurants they were near.

  “This one. It’s new and I want to try it.”

  Sasha hurried to walk next to her. She almost slid in her boots, and as she regained her balance she noted how she’d never had to run to keep up with Hannah.

  “That okay with you?” Charlie asked.

  “Sure.”

  She smiled and wove them between a dozen or so people waiting outside and pulled open the heavy looking door.

  “We have reservations.” She squeezed Sasha’s hand and led the way inside. The restaurant looked to be like a roadhouse of sorts with peanut shells on the ground, country music blaring, and steer horns on the wall. The wait staff wore denim and boots and cowboy hats, and some danced to the music as they moved between tables. The atmosphere was festive, and Sasha breathed easy, hoping for a fun night.

  Charlie gave the hostess her name, and they were led farther inside to a back area booth where a single candle burned in a red votive. The tablecloth was also red, and Charlie slid into the booth first and watched as Sasha slid in across from her. They took the menus from the hostess, and Charlie immediately ordered a beer.

  “I can’t serve you, ma’am. Your waiter will be with you shortly.” The hostess seemed annoyed and walked away quickly.

  “She’s lucky I don’t have to tip her,” Charlie said with a smirk.

  Sasha burned with embarrassment and looked around to make sure no one else had heard her comment. She was always very kind to restaurant staff and to everyone really. She didn’t understand those that weren’t.

  Charlie reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Are you going to look at your menu? I’m starving.”

  Sasha hurriedly opened her menu, getting the hint. She quickly focused on a grilled chicken meal and closed the menu. She sat politely, wondering what she should say. Charlie’s behavior had caught her off guard and now she felt awkward.

  “What are you having?” Charlie asked.

  “The grilled chicken.”

  “That’s it? I bring you here and you get grilled chicken? Not me, buddy. I’m going for the prime rib.” She closed her menu and patted the table.

  Sasha thought briefly about reminding her of her dietary restrictions, but she decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

  “Now if we could just get some beer life would be wonderful.”

  She apparently wanted Sasha to laugh by the look she was giving her. So Sasha did.

  “This place is great isn’t it?” Charlie reached for the pail of peanuts sitting next to the ketchup. She shelled one and popped it in her mouth. She tossed the shell on the floor and dug in the pail for another. She pushed the pail Sasha’s way, but Sasha held up her hand.

  “No, thanks.”

  Charlie shrugged and their waiter showed up all smiles and western attire. Charlie spoke before he could even greet them.

  “I’ll have the prime rib with a loaded baked potato and a side of butter for the vegetables. And I’ll start with a bottle of Bud Light, ice cold, and some bread please. She’ll have the grilled chicken—”

  “With a side of vegetables only please,” Sasha interjected. “And could you please bring me a box with my meal? I won’t be able to eat all the chicken.” She smiled sincerely at him and he returned it though obviously flustered.

  “And to drink?”

  “Water, please.”

  He wrote everything down and walked away when Charlie had nothing more to say.

  “Hopefully, he’s a good one,” Charlie said. “We’ll see how fast he brings our drinks.”

  “What does it matter?” Sasha said. “I mean aren’t we here to relax and have a good time?”

  “Sure, but I’m thirsty. And these waiters can take forever on a Friday night like this so you have to be aggressive.”

  Sasha fought closing her eyes. “Let’s just ease up a bit on the aggression, okay? For my sake?”

  Charlie grimaced but then smiled. “All right, for your sake. But don’t tell me not to be aggressive later on when I get you alone.” She winked.

  Sasha stiffened. “What do you mean?” She’d planned on a good night. A very good night. But nothing about it was romantic so far, and Charlie’s behavior with the staff had really turned her off. Now the thought of being alone with her unnerved her a little.

  “I mean, we take the bike up a mountain trail, park, maybe make out a
little under the moon. Then we go to my place and—”

  But the waiter brought the beer and water, interrupting her. Sasha was grateful because she honestly didn’t know how to respond. Sure, the mountain and moon sounded great, but could they make it that long without Charlie saying something asinine or rude?

  “Good man,” Charlie said to the waiter. “Now let’s see how quickly you can bring my dinner.”

  Sasha cringed. “She’s kidding,” Sasha said. “Thank you for bringing the drinks so quickly.” She smiled at him again and prayed he wouldn’t spit in their food.

  He gave a nod and walked away.

  “I wasn’t kidding,” Charlie said. Then she laughed and took a long pull off her beer.

  “I was afraid you weren’t. I just hope he doesn’t get too upset.”

  Charlie shrugged. “It’s his job. He’s used to it.”

  Sasha thought for a second about getting up to leave. But then she thought of the Charlie who’d cared for her those long two weeks and how sensitive and kind she’d been. She thought about how Charlie had closed her eyes when helping her up from the tub and then handing over a towel trying to make her comfortable. Where was that Charlie?

  Then she thought of her mother and the way she always said you can tell a lot by a person by the way they treat others. She’d always found that to be true, and she swallowed hard forcing a smile at Charlie who was watching her closely.

  “Have I upset you? I’m just trying to get us some good service. I’m good like that. I want tonight to be very special for you.”

  Sasha laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about it so much. I just really want to relax and have a good time.”

  Charlie raised her beer. “Then here’s to a good time. And to you, Sasha, may your night be special and may your coming days be healthy and happy.” She winked again, and Sasha half-heartedly clinked her water glass with Charlie’s beer bottle.

  She closed her eyes as she drank her water and wished one more wish. She wished the night would go by quickly.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Another Friday night. Hannah sat slumped on a stool in a dive bar downtown spinning a bottle of Miller Lite around and around.